Breakthrough Thinking for Mastering Change

Why Eliot Spitzer Blew It!

While many people have been shocked that Eliot Spitzer, posing as the warrior of morality, fell on his own sword, there is an explanation and a pattern among people of power. While many point fingers at corrupted character or a non supportive wife and malingering marriage, the fact is that there is definitely a pattern of such behavior in people of power such as politicians and NFL and NBA players. The list is endless!
The truth is that most of them are just as shocked by their behavior upon getting caught as is the general public and their very own families. When reality stares us in the face we suddenly gain consciousness and become astutely aware of our behavior but rarely is the "why" discovered. When our dark side is discovered we are humbled by humility which shifts us from being "outgrid" to ingrid and reflective. However, becoming introspective after the adult acting out behavior is costly and often too late although many rebound and capitalize on their wrongdoings. As a professional speaker I often marvel at how much more people pay to hear from a speaker who has royally messed up his or her life. It obviously provides a catharsis much like the Greek dramas and today's soaps.

Whether the situation be Eliot, Kolbe, Bill, or OJ, when people become polluted with power they operate in an arena that is "out of bounds." They have overcome obstacles and superseded boundaries that they lose sight of where they are or that they even exist. People who climb to the top of higher mountains and rise above their own circumstances often do not change their internal software and if the mind is not reprogrammed self sabotaging behavior is certain. We see it everyday with weight loss. Approximately 90% of people who lose weight gain it back and often more than what they had lost. Another example is that 86% of people who win the lottery lose all they gained within a few years. We all have a physical and mental setpoint that seeks stabilization of our past patterns and history. It is for this reason that we are in fact creatures of habit. Habits steal conscious choice and good decision making. Another factor that robs us of constructive decision making is stress. People in positions of power obviously experience a great deal of stress. Stress pushes the brain into a "reactive" vs. proactive mode. In a reactive mode we are acting out instincts, not intelligence. Neither Eliot Spitzer nor Bill Clinton, although both intelligent men, were making decisions from their cerebral cortex!

Violence on Our College Campuses

This country is in crisis and we are not acting fast enough to correct our course. We simply cannot continue to program the minds of our youth with violent lyrics and video games and expect to end the insanity in our society. Garbage In...Garbage Out. Violence is often seen by angry minds as the only solution to their problems or their low self esteem. Loneliness is not a pleasant experience which is why those who steal the lives of others do so. They don't want to be alone in their despair and misery. It is a form of perverted intimacy and a sick search for compassion. They seek to be understood in their pain and thus inflict it upon others. They feel without choice and thus capture the choices of others...even the choice to live and experience life fully.
It is also an attempt to heal ourselves. It is a reflection of the lack of problem solving skills which seems to be a lost art. It is a result of a narcissistic orientation and self absorption which is encouraged by most marketing messages.
It is difficult in a "free" country to set the boundaries that are necessary but if we are to survive and maintain and safe and sane quality of life for ourselves and our children, we must recognize that we are a country in crisis and act before another violent episode erupts in another school or college campus. We are truly in denial and seem to heal before we learn the lessons that will motivate us to CHANGE and PREVENT further destruction of the freedom this country so dearly has fought for.

What's Love Got to Do With It - Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day soon approaching, love is in the air! However, love is more than a box of chocolates or a bouquet of red roses. While poets have written about the mystique of love for centuries, it still remains a mystery. In my recent book, Sex for the Soul, I quoted Gary Zukav who states that a loving personality seeks not to control, but to nurture, not to dominate, but to empower. Love is the richness and fullness of your soul flowing through you. Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of the authentic power. An authentically empowered person lives in love. It brings Light. In the Light of love there is only love. Love is the energy of the soul. I have often referred to love as the most positive, powerful force in the universe and compassion is love in action. Expressing our sexuality is a process of dissolving our physical boundaries so that we can become one with the soul, which is our human connection to Spirit. When we double that connection by becoming "one" with someone else, a relationship becomes a powerful conduit for Spirit. On a human level, we validate our being and existence because we are bathed in love by someone whom we have come to know and love. Our union confirms, validates, and legitimizes us, both as individuals and as a valued member of an intimate relationship. Because we are both human and divine, our sexuality and spirituality must be honored equally, explored together, and enjoyed simultaneously. Without this integrations we would only be a momentary blip in the universe. When your spiritual roots explode into the earth, your spiritual wings can fly freely into heaven.